Adult Roles at Hockey Games:

- Cheer for all good plays and efforts
- Say only positive things
- Model behaviors you would like to see in our children
- Respect and support officials, coaches, and fellow spectators
- Congratulate all players involved in the game
- Focus on and reinforce the positives
- Ask, "Did you have fun?" and "How did you play?" Success is found in striving.
Provided by the EFFORT committee.


GET DRAGGED ALONG
Embrace a Parent's Most Valuable Role

Adam H. Naylor, Ed.D.
BU Athletic Enhancement Center / SPORT-Rx


All I wanted since I was age four was a hockey stick and to drag my parents to sign me up for hockey.  I was five-years old and I literally grabbed my mom.  I was a pain in the [butt] probably!  She finally said, "Let's go to the rink we have to find a coach or something."
- Robert Kron,, former Columbus Blue Jacket, 14-year NHL wing

This is the most wonderful portrait of a parent-child relationship in hockey… and it led to a long and successful NHL career!  As a parent, what role do you play in your child's hockey-life?  Who leads the charge to the rink, onto new teams, and into competitions? 
The most important role that you, as a parent, play is that of supporter.  Hockey is emotional.  Victories are passionate and defeats can be heartbreaking. 
Emotionally support your child during successes and failures.  Hockey presents players with challenge and adversity, and is a great sport because it does so.  Support your child facing challenges, solving problems, and struggling with adversity without intervening with your "adult" powers and wisdom.  Most struggles on the ice, in practice, and during training provide valuable learning opportunities.  Well-intentioned parental assistance during challenge often robs players of valuable learning opportunities and over time hinders hockey and personal growth.
As a loving and caring parent, it is difficult to avoid the urge to eliminate a child's struggles and frustrations (even when they are typically short-lived).  How can we fight this urge to act?  Remember who is the director of your child's hockey career… your son or daughter.  While your own passions might run deep, it is the kid's aspirations and dreams that determine enjoyment and success on the ice.  As a parent, play a supporting role.  Ask yourself who is doing the "dragging" to the rink, you or your child?  Give your player opportunities to choose when and how to compete.
Providing emotional support and support for challenges on the ice is the toughest, but most important, role a hockey-parent embraces.  Whether it be as a young child or growing teenager, when the athlete, your child, determines goals and personally embraces opportunities to overcome obstacles, optimal hockey development and personal growth will be achieved.  In the ideal hockey environment,
kids play, learning to compete and solve problems, while parents support and encourage.

Dr. Adam Naylor is the Center Coordinator and Sport Psychology Coach at the Boston University Athletic Enhancement Center (www.bu.edu/aec/) and Sport Psychology Coach for SPORT-Rx (Norwell) (www.sport-rx.com).  Beyond working with individuals, teams, and organizations, he currently teaches sport psychology and graduate counseling courses at Boston University and Trinity College, CT.  He can be contacted at 617-414-6835 and/or adam@sport-rx.com.

6 questions to ask before taking on travel sports
Are you wrestling with the decision to let your child participate on a travel team? Following are a few questions to guide you in your decision.
1. Is your child psychologically ready to compete at a higher level?
On most travel teams, there is a higher skill level that's usually accompanied by more pressure to perform, as opposed to just having fun. "Young athletes must be ready for this transition and be able to handle this higher level of play and pressure," says Dr. Todd Kays, a sport psychologist and founder and president of the Athletic Mind Institute in Columbus, Ohio. "If you are unsure of your child's psychological readiness, just consider how he or she has handled previous competitive situations."
He also recommends asking your child's coaches about their perceptions of your child's readiness. You can also talk with parents who have their kids on travel teams. This information can help determine if your child is ready for the experience.
2. Is your child truly motivated to play on a travel team?
It's not enough for you to want your child to play on a travel team. They must want it. "These types of teams involve more time, practice and travel," Dr. Kays says. "A young athlete must understand this and have the true desire and motivation to play more frequently and consistently. If his or her interest and motivation are suspect when playing in a non-travel team situation, it's important to consider this history when making a decision."
3. Are you prepared for the increase in both time and money?
Do your homework. Talk to other parents. Find out the financial commitment. Learn about the additional time obligation it will take for practices and games. The entire family must be ready for the travel team experience to be successful.
4. Are you trying to secure a position down the road for your child on his high school team, or latch onto a college scholarship?
Statistically speaking, the chances of playing in college are slim. "Travel team coaches tell parents that club teams are the ones scouts look at when it comes to college scholarships," says Dr. Darrell Burnett, a Laguna Niguel, California-based sports psychologist and author of "It's Just A Game!" "Many travel teams advertise the statistics their team has for gaining scholarships. This is alluring to parents who see travel teams as an investment for a possible scholarship, even though the odds of an actual scholarship are staggering."
5. Can your child handle failing a travel team tryout?
The psychological impact of being cut depends on attitude and support. "Being cut from a team is detrimental if the athlete views it as a threat to his or her self-worth," says Dr. Adam Naylor, a sport psychology coach for the Boston University Athletic Enhancement Center. "Parent reactions and feedback to a child during tryouts sends strong messages about the value of sporting success. Parents who display pride in effort, emotional management, preparation and positive character - regardless if the child makes the team or not - allow tryouts to be a healthy process. A child's athleticism is only one aspect of their being, and they should feel like a worthy person regardless of the evaluation of a coach or league or successes on the playing field."
6. What opportunities does your local community have for your child?
Remember that being on a travel team does not guarantee greater skill development or quicker progression in a sport than a recreational program. "Every parent wants the best for their child, and travel teams would appear to equal the best sporting opportunity for their kids," Dr. Naylor says. "It's important to note that the highest level of competition and the most amount of travel does not equal the best developmental opportunity. The social and participation opportunities of town teams provides learning experiences for youth players that will benefit their personal and athletic development."

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